PMS. And no, we’re not referring to the hormonal condition. We’re talking about Perfect Moment Syndrome, and it’s a very real phenomenon. If it’s your party and you’re crying because you can’t seem to help it, you may be suffering from this condition – it’s the inability to relax or enjoy.
Best-selling author and authority on the subject, Sarah Wilson, first defined this state of mind. She said that people who are afflicted with this form of PMS think that life should operate on a certain trajectory and to certain ratios. They feel that birthdays should always be happy, weekends in Thailand should always be relaxing, and a long-awaited dinner at a special restaurant should always bring you closer together.
Setting such high expectations for happiness and fulfillment from certain events can actually lead to greater sadness. When you set the bar so high and predict how something should go to the tee, it leaves so much room for disappointment and so much space to feel like the experience was now what it ‘should have been.’
While it is completely normal to have certain expectations for how exciting life events should unfold, they can ruin reality when they become unrelenting guidelines. Math and probability defy the possibility for everything to go perfectly literally every single time.
The Role Of Social Media
In recent times, the role of social media has exacerbated the Perfect Moment Syndrome. We feel the need to create the perfect post for our feed and showcase just how perfect our lives are. This translates to increased pressure to have those special events in our lives unfold flawlessly and be the pinnacle of perfection, which is unrealistic, and often downright impossible.
Even though it is normal, and even healthy to have expectations of how your life will go, attaching yourself to the outcome is unhealthy. It leads to anxiety, disappointment and depression.
Perfect Moment Syndrome is most common amongst type-A perfectionists who have been known to experience anxiety. These people crave control, and it stems from having to perform, be perfect, or behave in a manner in order to be loved, accepted, and worthy.
Ok, now you may feel like this spells ME. Now what?! Do not despair, we have you covered.
Get Conscious + Explore
Exploring the root cause of having unattainably high expectations is the first step. The need for perfection and control, and our obsession with the perfect image; where does it come from? By connecting these dots to the past, you may find insight and gain awareness into why you suffer from PMS. This awareness is key to disengaging from the Perfect Moment Syndrome.
Try Meditating
When you practice meditation, it calms anxiety. It helps to change your thought process – and therefore alter your behaviour – quickly and efficiently. Mindfulness stems from meditation and helps us train our minds to be present instead of future oriented. When you are truly present, you tend to plan less, think ahead less, and can cultivate joy in the way your life should be – here and now.
We promise, you will soon find yourself shifting away from the Perfect Moment Syndrome.
Get Clear, and Be Real.
And no we don’t mean get onto the BeReal bandwagon. To minimise the Perfect Moment Syndrome, you need to have clear expectations regarding any upcoming event or experience. Give journaling a shot. And get very very real with yourself about these expectations. Ask yourself: Are these realistic? Why do you expect it to go down this way? What would it mean if it didn’t? How would that make you feel?
Embrace The Power Of “NO”
It’s okay to decline that exhausting weekend trip or skip the picture-perfect brunch if it doesn’t resonate with you. Prioritize experiences that spark genuine joy, even if they don’t fit the picture-perfect mold.
Celebrate The Imperfect
Let’s face it, real life is messy. Burnt cookies, unexpected downpours, and awkward exchanges are inevitable. Learn to find humor in the mishaps, share them with loved ones, and turn them into shared memories.
Beyond the Hashtag
Perfect Moment Syndrome might be fueled by social media, but the antidote lies in real-life connections. Share your imperfect moments, vulnerabilities, and genuine laughter with loved ones. You’ll be surprised how relatable and comforting your “fails” can be, fostering deeper connections and building a support system against the pressure to perform.
Remember, life isn’t a highlight reel. It’s a messy, unpredictable, and ultimately beautiful journey. By letting go of the perfect moment myth and embracing the present, we can reclaim our joy, embrace the unexpected, and discover that the most treasured moments are often the ones we didn’t even plan. So, breathe, relax, and let the imperfectly perfect moments unfold.
Now, go forth and share your imperfectly perfect story! The world needs your authenticity, not your filtered facades.
